When my children were all young, I spent each spring elbow-deep in buttercream frosting. Seven youngsters with birthdays in a three-month span meant an almost nonstop party frenzy. The intensity of the festive atmosphere in the house was fueled by sugar, balloons, glitzy wrapping paper, etc., but there was a deeper joy, too – a kind of protracted awe: we were marking milestones. The miracle of human beings “growing up” – changing, developing, discovering, attaining – is a singular delight to behold.

One of the blessings of a large family is that parents get to watch the “growing up” miracle on repeat. Our oldest turned thirty-three in March, but JoJo won’t be twelve until the end of this month. Another bout of buttercream? You betcha. In fact, the newest miracle in our lives – baby grandchildren – means we are entering a whole new iteration of “growing up” spectatorship, without a single break in the action. Talk about showers of blessings!

More complex than cake

My own birthday is more complicated. 

Where a child’s birthday is usually a straightforward celebration in which irrefutable physical evidence of growth testifies to the fruitfulness of the year just gone, an adult’s birthday is quite a different proposition. 

Amen?

The sense of unlimited possibilities and great expectations which are so natural to a child’s birthday diminish with the decades. The taller / stronger / promoted ever upward paradigm begins to reverse itself. There are too many candles to fit on a cake, and cake itself can be problematic. Yikes…

So, what does it mean to mark birthday milestones when you have long been “all grown up”?

Three truths about Older

Here are some things I’m learning about getting older when you are already, well, older:

• Every year of life is a gift from the Lord. Yes, every one.
• “Growing up” should continue, all the way to the grave. Not the growing up that can be measured by marks on the wall, but the growing up “into Christ’s image” about which Paul wrote so passionately.
• The things that last forever – God, God’s Word, and the souls of people – truly and completely eclipse the things that don’t. What doesn’t last forever – what’s reflected in the mirror, what’s written on the resume – doesn’t really matter.

Expert Examples

Some of my dearest friends make “older” magnetically attractive. Being with these women not only takes the dread out of aging, it makes the years ahead look inviting and exciting. How do they do it?

First, they embody the three truths above about getting older: They live not only each year but each day, each moment, as a gift. They continue to grow up into Christ’s image – and to learn new things about God’s world – with passion. They orient their days around the things that last forever. 

Beyond that, they choose joy. Consistently. This choice is not a Pollyanna-ish denial of hard realities, but rather a rebellious stance against those realities as dictators. If laughter were a competitive sport, these ladies would be the reigning Olympic champions.

And somehow, even with their vast accomplishments and accumulated wisdom, these women remain eager to be surprised and ready to be delighted. They retain the “golly” factor of unspoiled children in the midst of their maturity and gravitas. Seen through their eyes, life is an ongoing series of revelations that stretch, inspire, and provoke gales of hilarity.

Eyes on the prize

In a time and place that fetishizes youth culture to a psychotic extent, embracing “older” requires some moxie. But the real power source, as always, is Christ. The “Ancient of Days” knows all about aging – and invites us to embrace it as the only way to the next thing, the BEST thing, which is new life with Him. Paul explained it this way: “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:21)

The older I get, the more I understand that growing up in Christ looks quite different from the “growing up” I celebrate with / for my children. Dependence and humility are not typical aspirations in the physical growing up process, but they are cornerstones of deepening maturity in Christ… so depending on Him has become both goal and progress-marker for the older me.

Today may not be your birthday – but we are all older today than we were yesterday. What a blessing. What a gift!